


The Delirium of a Hero

by Dreamtea



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Sick America
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-17 23:19:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4684973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamtea/pseuds/Dreamtea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Ameripan fic. America gets sick and Japan's the one to take care of him. However, a delirious America does seem to become more open to Japan much to his surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Japan came around when the sun was beginning to set to America's house. He had told him he'd be stopping by sometime in the week. However when he knocked on the door and rang the doorbell, nobody answered. _Did I come here too late?_ He thought to himself. He looked over at the window to see if anybody was there. He saw the flash of the television screen from the living room. So he was there but why was he ignoring him? He tried to think to see if he did anything to upset him.

He rang the doorbell again. And again nobody answered. He hesitantly turned the door knob to find it unlocked. Strange. Usually Americans leave the doors locked due to how crime is, "America-San I'm coming in." He said as he stepped inside.

He walked over to the living room and found America asleep on the couch. He wanted to chuckle at this, realizing he shouldn't have thought that America was ignoring him. Maybe he should come later or just wait around.

His eyes glanced at the coffee table. Soda and chips were obviously there but between that were medicine and a box of tissues. Did America cry over a contestant being eliminated on Big Brother again? Okay that would explain the tissues but the medicine?

He saw that his skin was slightly pale with his cheeks flushed. He seemed to be shivering, despite him wearing a hoodie. He knew when someone was sick when he saw it. He normally wouldn't do touching contact but decided it wouldn't mean anything as he placed a hand on his forehead and neck and found it burning. He must have a high fever.

He knew it was probably best to wake him up. He gently shook him awake, "America-San."

"Hmm...?" America mumbled as he slowly opened his eyes, "oh Japan...sorry I didn’t hear you…” He tried to rub the sleep off his eyes. He felt even worse than yesterday and this morning, “And why are you flickering the lights…?” His head was pounding. He clutched his head as he managed to sit up, "did you turn on the A/C here by the way..?"

"I didn't do anything," Japan replied, "you really must be sick. How long have you been sick?"

"Sick? Heroes don't get sick! I'm fine!" America replied using his loud voice. His loud voice made his headache pound harder. He clutched his head for a few moments. He tried to stand up but managed to do so in a bit of a struggle, "anyway, let's do something while you're here." He tried to walk but his knees ended up giving in a few steps in, as if he couldn't support his own weight.

He would've collapsed if Japan hadn't grabbed on to him. He was surprised that such a small man could be able to hold him without much struggle. His head fell on his chest with Japan holding on to him for support, making them both blush, unable to speak.

"Uh...sorry man..." America had managed to say after a few moments and managed to get off of him. He felt fine standing up so long as he didn't move too much. He wished he could be able to see straight since everything felt dizzy. He once again clutched his head and closed his eyes, hoping that it would stop.

"It's alright." Japan managed to compose himself. It wasn't like he meant to go towards him and having to touch him. He wasn't used to being touched/touching anyone so he knew that was why his body felt hot. He could still feel his head press against his chest. Being able to look at his soft blond hair up close...he felt his face burn up from thinking that. He pushed the thought away and looked at America who seemed to be slightly swaying. He was ready to grab onto him again if necessary, "How long have you been sick?" It was impossible to comprehend how a man who could barely keep himself up had managed to take care of himself.

"...I dunno...what day is it today...?"

"Thursday."

"Oh then either Tuesday or Wednesday..." He replied honestly. He just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep the sickness away. He had done that since yesterday and it seemed rather worse. He waited for Japan's backlash for not bothering to call anyone.

"What about Tony? Did he take care of you?" He referred to the alien that always hung around America. He was in fact a bit frightened of the alien when he first saw him (mainly due to how alien/tentacles are a porn genre) but respected him in the end.

"Had to go back home a few days ago...he said he'd back in a month...something about joining some blue box in an intergalactic space war...I dunno..."

Japan nodded and then sighed. As much as he wanted to hit him in the back of the head, he being sick seemed like punishment enough, "you really are stupid. You should've at least called someone when you can't take care of yourself. You're only lucky that I came here by chance. Now come on, let's get you to bed."

"You don't even have to...I can take care of myself..." He was stubborn even in at that state of mind. He again tried to walk but ended up tripping over his own feet and Japan caught him.

"I can't just leave you like this. Let's just get you to your room." Japan said as he adjusted himself to hold him better. Knowing he would get a fight from him, he dragged him by the arms to his room.

"Hey...this is really unnecessary..." America couldn't protest anymore. He was a wreck of coldness, headaches and feeling downright terrible. He felt feet being dragged against the floor, wondering how he was able to hold on to him so comfortably. 

Japan helped him to bed, take off his hoodie to keep him from feeling too hot and wrapped him blankets to make sure he was warm, "where do you keep the thermometer?"

"Medicine cabinet...in the bathroom." He replied. He never realized how cold he felt underneath those blankets. The blankets made him feel warm. Like those winter nights he'd manage to get out of hibernation and visit Japan. They'd both sit under a kotatsu, watching movies or playing video games. The warmth of the kotatsu and Japan's occasional smirk or small smile would make him feel warmer. He wondered why he thought of that. Maybe he was already getting delirious.

Japan had come back a few minutes later and took his temperature. He found a nearby chair in his room and brought it close to his bed. When the digital thermometer beeped he read the digits, "You have a 104 degree fever." No wonder he could barely stand up.

"Oh..."

Japan had brought with him a small bowl full of water and a towel. He soaked the towel full of water and rung it until it wasn't dripping anymore and placed it on America's forehead.

"If I die leave everything to my dog..."

"You're not going to die and you don't have a dog." Japan said. He had to admit that it was amusing to see America so delirious and over dramatic. He was sometimes over dramatic outside being sick but this was his over dramatic side to a new extreme.

"Oh...then I want one." America mumbled sleepily. He never felt this safe and warm in a long time. Maybe it was just the blankets or the fact Japan was next to him. He didn't know nor did he care. (but he totally hoped it would be Japan.)

"You can get one soon. You should just rest now while I go make you something to eat."

"Okay." America closed his eyes, "I love you." He mumbled sleepily before sleep got to him. He would've never said it if he was in the right state of mind but the words just tumbled out so easily.

Japan looked at him in shock. He felt his face burn up at the words, "he was just being delirious. He'd call England-San's cooking great if he was asked." A pang of disappointment hit his heart though. Did he want those words to be true though? He tried to take his mind off that. He saw him sleeping more peacefully than when he found him earlier. He had always found him cute but never saw him sleeping before. He was peaceful for once in that state. And the sunsets' rays lightly hitting his face didn't help with his already pounding heart.

He was staring at him way too long, he realized. He stood up and walked over to the kitchen. He needed to make something for him to eat. What did Americans often eat when they're sick? America always loved his food so maybe he wouldn't mind if he made him something from his own country. He saw that he had everything needed to make udon soup surprisingly for a man whose diet was of junk food.

It was around an hour later and Japan had finished making the soup. He set them out on a tray and walked back to the bedroom.

"...Please..."

"America-San?" Japan looked up at him expecting to see him awake but saw he was asleep. He set the tray down by the bedside table.

"No...I don't..." America looked distressed in his sleep, "...Sorry..." He slowly shifted about in his sleep.

Japan could see he was having a nightmare. He placed a hand on America's forehead. It felt slightly wet from sweat but the fever was the same. He glanced back at him to see a face twisted in pain along with tears running down his cheeks, "sorry...I..."

"America-San, you're having a nightmare. Wake up." Japan grabbed him by the arm and began shaking him to get him to wake up.

"...Japan..." His name was muttered through the sick man's mouth.

Japan stopped shaking him momentarily. Why did he mutter his name? Was he having a bad dream about him?

"...please...Japan..."

As much as he wanted to know what America was talking about, he shook him again harder, "America-San...please wake up." He wondered this time if America believed he had done something to him. The nightmare and mutterings seemed to be worse now. Some of the words were in another language. (He assumed French considering Canada was raised by France.)

Japan wasn't sure what to do. While it wasn't like he could die of a nightmare or anything, seeing him so fearful made him nervous. He tried shaking him awake again, more roughly this time, and calling his name.

America quietly groaned in response. His blue eyes looked up at his sleepily, "...Japan...?"

Japan let go of him and relaxed once he was finally woke up, "I apologize for waking you up. You just seemed to have a nightmare."

"Oh..." America laid there in silence for a few seconds until the memories of the nightmare flooded back. He still felt the tears fresh on his cheeks and the memories in vivid color. He would've sunk down further on his bed if he could, "Oh thanks..."

"What was the nightmare about?"

"I..." America couldn't even finish his sentence. He ended up breaking down in sobs as he had managed to hold onto Japan, nearly making him fall off his chair.

Japan had a small urge to push him away but knew it would end in him being more hysterical. He wrapped his arms around him in an effort to calm him down, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I...I had a dream where I couldn't save anyone...and I had to watch them die..."

He looked down at him and caught his eyes and face that was covered in sadness. He was surprised how vulnerable and fragile he looked. He never saw that side of the self-proclaimed hero. He was always trying to be braver than he showed, never letting anyone show he really feels. Of course he sometimes failed but seeing he being open and willing to talk about it made him wonder if his fear was not living to the title of hero.

Was that the reason America was calling his name? Did he dream he had died? "Don't worry, it's only a dream. I know you won't let anyone die without trying at least."

"...but I dreamed that you died..." America had managed to say, "...I don't know what I'd do if..."

Japan never thought America cared for him that much, "I've been in this world for many years and I know I'll still be here for many years more so you don't need to worry about that." Japan replied. He could just disappear any day much like the Great Roman Empire but he decided not to think about it. He knew for sure it wouldn't happen for a long time so he felt assured by that. He continued speaking for a minute or two to reassure him that he wasn't going to die.

America gave a small nod like he understood. He only snuggled closer to him, his breathing calm after a minute or two, "you're so warm...I feel safe with you..."

Japan blushed, "uh thank you..." He looked down at his hair before hesitantly reaching a hand up and stroking it. His hair felt soft like Sakura petals and flowed so easily through his fingers like water. He wanted to stay like this forever but knew that he had to take care of him, "are you hungry by the way?"

"Yeah...can't remember the last time I ate..." He said. When did he eat last time?

Japan helped lean America against a wall since it seemed like he was too weak to do it himself.

He realized that he would have to feed him himself. He brought the spoon full of soup to America's mouth.

"This is really great." 

"Thank you." Japan smiled. He continued feeding him until the bowl was completely empty. He ended up getting him seconds. And maybe thirds until Japan said that was a bit too much for one night. He helped him take some medicine for his sickness.

He washed the dishes and dried them. America did have dishwasher but he felt safer using the traditional soap and water. He came back a few minutes later when he was finished.

Japan looked at the clock, "it is getting late. You should be getting some rest." He often slept over at America's place so he was used to sleeping at a couch or his bed if America convinced him enough.

America gave a small nod, "where will you sleep?"

"Oh I'll just sleep in the chair. It's not a problem for me." He knew it was better to sleep in the room in case he had another nightmare again.

"You could sleep in the same bed as me y'know..." America added in tiredly.

Japan blushed and looked at the medicine from the bedside table, "maybe I gave you too much..."

"Come on, I'm fine...and I'm serious..." America replied which made Japan know he was just being delirious.

"America-San, I don't really think it's appropriate for me to do that."

It had taken over 10 minutes and America giving him the sad eyes that he knew worked on Japan before. He was right as Japan gave in. He decided it wouldn't be that bad. After all, he knew America and he obviously wouldn't do anything to him especially him being sick. He felt grateful that he had worn casual clothing which made it easier to sleep in.

He turned off the lights and crawled into bed next to America. His bed could at least hold two people comfortably enough.

"Night..." America said as he closed his eyes.

"Good night." Japan replied. His eyes stared up at the ceiling once he was adjusted to the darkness.

This was beyond what he was comfortable with. He knew the difference between feeling uncomfortable or something else. He didn't even feel all that uncomfortable around him. It was more of...he wasn't even sure what he was feeling. He looked at America who was already falling asleep next to him. He at least didn't go closer to him or wrap his arms around him. A part of him wanted to put his arms around him, and whisper soothing words to him until he fell asleep. Maybe he was getting sick already himself.

"America-San?"

"Hmm?" He said sleepily.

"What do you think of England-San's cooking?" It was the only way to confirm if what America said earlier was true.

"Oh it's terrible...don't try it." He didn't question why Japan asked that.

Japan felt his heart pound. He knew this was the only way to ask him something America would brush off or avoid. He felt guilty for taking advantage of this but hoped that America wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, "do you...like me?"

"Yeah. I think you're cute." He didn't question that either. He managed to fall asleep moments later. Usually he'd fall asleep in what would feel like hours but for some reason he just slept so easily.

Japan had stayed awake half the night, trying to calm his beating heart down.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit 3 comments & bookmarks and over 100 hits...wow thanks everyone! This means a lot especially for a first fic! (This story would've been updated sooner but I just discovered HetaOni a few days ago...I'll admit some situations made me laugh but it is a good story...until I went through two chapters without saving and it crashed...so here I am.)

America woke up feeling groggy and while still felt sick, felt much better than yesterday. Despite his vision being blurry without his glasses, he looked at the digital clock. 6:29 AM. He woke up a lot earlier than he usually did. He decided to continue sleeping and shifted for a better position. He felt strong arms wrapped around him and his body being pressed up against another's when he tried.

His breathing hitched for a moment as he thought about what happened for a moment. Yesterday Japan found him near his deathbed and took care of him and...Then he asked him to lay in bed with him...Shit it wasn't a dream?

He managed to turn around to find that it was in fact Japan. He could hear his light breathing and how warm he was. He felt his face burn up as he tried to move away only for Japan to hold him even tighter. He didn't even know Japan cuddled in his sleep. (He did admit that he found it cute.)

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he just slept like this until he woke up. Deciding it was too early to get up; he closed his eyes to be able to fall asleep again.

He would've fallen asleep a few minutes if Japan hadn't woken up and let out a scream. 

"Huh? Wha...?!" America found himself frantically trying to get up but the two of them ended up bumping into each other. As a result, they both fell on opposite sides of the floor with a thud. 

Japan quickly stood up, "uh sorry America-San!" He walked over to help him up. He probably shouldn't have reacted so quickly when he found himself so close to America when he woke up. He knew that the only scary part was that he was the one that was basically spooning him, not the other way around.

"It's cool man." America replied,

"You just scared me that's all." 

Japan still felt embarrassed but changed the topic, "So um...how do you feel by the way?" He knew that the America that had opened up to him yesterday was long gone now that he had a clear head. Only thing to hope was that he didn't mention the question he asked. 

"I feel better." He said. He honestly felt hazy about yesterday. It was in fact hard to tell what parts of the day was a dream or which wasn't. He wished he could know if what Japan had asked him before he slept was true. Well if begging Japan to be in the same bed with him was obviously true, could it maybe be true? 

"You should still rest though. You really were sick yesterday." Japan interrupted his thoughts.

"But I feel fine." He protested like a small child.

Japan reached up to feel his forehead, "You aren't burning to the touch like yesterday."  He brought the thermometer again to take his temperature. The fever had at least gone down to 100 F, "The fever went slightly down but you still need to rest."

America was surprised that Japan just touched him so causally. Maybe he was still sick and delirious. That still didn't prevent him from sighing, "Fine...but I'm doing it at the living room to watch TV."

"Fair enough." 

The two walked over to the living room where America sat down in the couch, placing the throw blanket over him since he still felt slightly cold, "Gonna watch tv too?"

"No thank you. I should be making breakfast since you're not supposed to take the medicine in an empty stomach."

Of course he never understood the importance of breakfast but nodded anyway.

America turned on the tv and was switching through the morning programs while Japan began making breakfast. He wasn't paying much attention to whatever was on the morning program as he heard the sounds of Japan cooking something. It felt almost natural hearing and feeling that Japan was there. Like they were a couple and living together and just doing the ordinary mundane things a couple would do. Someone would be the early riser and cook breakfast while the other would still be asleep or watching tv. Just an ordinary morning for the two of them.

He brushed the fantasy off. He knew why Japan was there and their relationship towards each other and reminded himself repeatedly of it. He decided to check whatever anime Adult Swim had on their On Demand service when Japan came in with the tray of breakfast.

It seemed like a mixture of both Japanese and western food. There was miso soup and rice but along that was yogurt, toasted butter and coffee. He didn't even know he had half those ingredients. Usually Tony or someone else would buy the ingredients.

He made a mental note to actually inspect the fridge as he looked at the food, "this looks pretty good."

Japan had separate plate dishes and began serving him and then himself, "thank you though the meal is just simple." 

He took a sip of the soup and began eagerly chomping down, ignoring the fact he was devouring hot soup, "ywouth cwooth wffr fwan fwe." 

"I'm sorry, I don't understand." Unlike him, he was eating slowly. 

"Right, sorry. I said that you cook better than me." He answered, "like seriously I don't think I'll be able to cook something like this if I wanted too." 

"I'm sure you can if you wanted to. Toast is simple to make." 

"I take up after Iggy in the cooking department." 

"Oh," Japan immediately understood, "I can always teach you." 

"You could try but I'll never beat your cooking." And he was honest. He had eaten meals that Japan made and always said how they were the best meals he ever tasted. Sure, if compared to England's cooking any food would be  the best but America always loved his cooking.

Meanwhile, Japan was trying hard not to blush from embarrassment. He was never used to America's compliments. It had been a while since he actually a cooked meal for someone, even America. He often preferred cooking for America than anyone else. He found himself feeling more relaxed when he did it. 

"Hey Japan?" America interrupted his thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Uh never mind I forgot." America decided he shouldn't ask. It could ruin their friendship if he confirmed that he loved him. He played around with the remote on the tv, "so let's see what there is to watch."

One of the few animes on Adult Swim that had the first few episodes was Agame ga Kill so they decided to watch that until they finished eating breakfast.  

America helped bring the plates to the sink and the two washed the dishes together. After that Japan gave him the medicine to take and they spent the rest of the morning watching the anime and then switching to random shows on television when they caught up with the five episodes Adult Swim had.   

* * *

 "...And at the end of every episode there's codes you can decipher that can sometimes give off huge hints for the show." America had shown Japan an episode of a few shows and was now explaining to him the plot of Gravity Falls.

"I don't think I can remember a show that lets you be very involved before." Japan said. It was interesting to see how different American shows were from anime. He never really got much of a chance to see what it was like and was surprised on how good they were. 

It was around noon and Japan had made lunch for the both of them. So far their day was of talking and watching and sharing shows. 

"I know right?! Only that I wish the show would stop being on hiatus so often."

Japan found that he liked it when America's eyes would shine even brighter than the blue hue they had whenever he was excited or enthusiastic. He sipped his cup of green tea to act natural, "I know how you feel. I know a few manga authors that are on hiatus often and it does agrivate me. I do wonder how you find time to watch all these shows."

"Oh that's easy. Usually I either procrastinate my work or do it all in one day so I can just be lazy for the rest of the week. I'm not very good at managing time." America softly chuckled. 

"I'm lucky my work is not so hard that I can have some free time. I enjoy doing things like this."

"Same. It's been a while since we hung out like this, right?" 

"Yes." He admitted. They hadn't really hung out in a while. They did see each other in the world meetings but it was often small talk or treating the other to lunch without getting to go to each other's houses. 

"If only it could be like this forever." America said suddenly. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I dunno...just chilling and watching tv and just talking..." America wondered if he said too much. 

"I agree," Japan leaned back on the couch, "it is nice to just be able to spend days like this."

"I should get sick more often." 

"England will probably end up taking care of you at least once." Japan joked.

"Oh God I hope not. Have you even tried his cooking?" "

Only once. How did you even survive eating off of that when you were a child?"

"I have no idea. I still question if I'm alive." They both laughed at that.

They joked around and laughed and played some video games together and watched tv. America wished the day would last forever but knew it was going to end. 

He just had to enjoy the moment with him while he had it.

* * *

 

It was nighttime and much to America's protests, Japan made him go to bed earlier than he would due to him still being sick. Japan would take the guest room close to America's room.  They were about to go to their rooms when America spoke up. 

"Japan?" He knew it was probably best to say it now. It was obvious Japan would leave in the morning once he's fine and they would end up not being able to hang out for a while. And he was the hero after all; heros don't back out of stuff like confessions. 

"Yes?" 

"Um about yesterday..."

America wasn't sure what to say. How could he put it in words? He never confessed to someone, let alone bring something like that to someone, "...I...I know you asked a question, right?"

"Yes. What do you remember?" Japan asked nervously. He cursed himself mentally for deciding to ask that question. He knew the question was going to go back and bite him.

"That you asked me if I loved you..." America answered. He wanted to choose his words carefully, "I know I said I did...and I want to say that it is true. I do love you...For a while now...I've been afraid you might not want to be friends with me if you found out..."  

Japan stared at him for a few moments, unsure how to react. He thought he calmed down yesterday but he still felt as nervous as that night, "America-san..." 

"Oh god I feel terrible. I'm sorry for dumping this all on you so suddenly." America looked down, wondering now what to do next. Why didn't he think this through?!  "I have grown very fond of you over the years...enough to be able to call it love..." Japan didn't know how to answer in the best way either. 

"W-wait really?" He looked up at him in surprise. He thought for sure it would backfire. 

"Yes. I was happy when I found out that you loved me, even if it was an idea," yes, that was the mood he felt when he was lying next to America. Happiness that he got to be so close to someone to be able to lie down next to. Happiness that he knew someone had returned the same feelings as him, "I'm glad that we have the same feelings for each other."

"Me too." America smiled widely. He couldn't believe it. Confessing was much easier than he thought.  He wanted to hug Japan but understood his personal space of course. It would of course take a while for him to be comfortable and be fine with it. But America knew Japan loved him and it was all that mattered, "so what do you say? Should we start going out?" 

"I would love that." They both stood in awkward silence. They had never dated anyone before as much as they hated to admit it. The only sources were from anime and shows. 

America finally spoke, "So what should we do now?" 

"Just go to bed and we'll do something in the morning." 

"Oh come on...we confessed and you're sending me to bed like that?" America whined playfully. 

"Well you do need your rest. Your body is still recovering you know." 

America tried the puppy dog eyes that had worked so many times before. Maybe now that they're dating it would work 10x more.

He was right; America and Japan stayed up two hours more after that.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not exactly happy with the story but hey it's still a fluff fic at least so I know it'll be fine as that. Plus I haven't written in over 6 months so I'm just trying to get my rhythm back if that makes sense. 
> 
> ...And yes America's small rant on the hiatus part of Gravity Falls is of my own doing...and Japan was talking about certain manga artists that have been on hiatus for over a year (I'm looking at you Yoshihiro   
> Togashi...)
> 
> So yes I am planning to write Ameripan fanfics and a few Hetalia ones in general. I'll do a few requests if anyone has some on some Ameripan fics if you want. Again thanks for reading everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is my first Hetalia fanfic and I hope you guys enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!


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